shake hands with the unemployed en · VERB
Pronunciation
- (Australia) audio
Etymology
An oblique reference to the usual 'employment' of the penis in sex, masturbation, or urination. In reference to masturbation, sometimes credited to American comedian George Carlin.
Meanings
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(euphemistic, of men, slang) To urinate.
An older man made this remark when he left the bar to urinate: "Well, I'll go back and shake hands with the unemployed." Since he was heading for the men's room I didn't get the significance of this statement for a minute or so; it was, of course, a reference to sexual inactivity.
1975, E. E. LeMasters, Blue-collar Aristocrats: Life-styles at a Working-class Tavern, University of Wisconsin Press, pages 103-104:
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(euphemistic, of men, slang) To masturbate.
Why did the preppie boy make a great social worker? He had a lot of practice shaking hands with the unemployed.
1993, Seattle Sal, Grunge Jokes, S.P. Books, page 43:
Forms
| Spelling | Features | Labels | Source |
|---|---|---|---|
| shook hands with the unemployed | Tense=Past | lexicographic | |
| shakes hands with the unemployed | Number=Sing, Person=3, Tense=Pres | lexicographic | |
| shaking hands with the unemployed | Tense=Pres, VerbForm=Part | lexicographic | |
| shaken hands with the unemployed | Tense=Past, VerbForm=Part | lexicographic |
Synonyms
pleasure oneself · jerk the gherkin · touch oneself · wee · jack it · pass water · beat off · take a whiz · piss · take a piss · whiz · frig · widdle · whack off · fap · wee wee · goon · service oneself · play with oneself · slash · urinate · mastuprate · jack off · bash one out · hit the head · rub one off · jerk one out · wank off · toss · tinkle · self-pollute · jerk · micturate · jerk off · stroke · pee · rub one out · void · jerk one off · knock one out · play pocket pool · toss off · self-abuse · abuse · make the bald man cry · beat it · jerk it · take a leak · jork it · piddle · wank · shake hands with the milkman · bate · masturbate · break the seal · skeet · crank one out · yank